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Thinking of you...
You have delusions of adequacy.
You suck!!!
Hope springs eternal. Your name ain't Hope.
Roses are dead, violets are too, gonna stomp on your head, and beat you blue
Congratulations! Hope you get fired more often!
I hate you.
When I think of the time we spent together, I stop, pray, and thank God for Prozac
You were the light of my life. I just didn't know you were being held by a proctologist.
Heard you got a promotion. Wonderful. How far are you up your boss's ass now?
The road to success is a long one. Too bad you had a wreck on the entrance ramp.
Honey, you smell.
Shave, already!
What did I do to deserve you???
Happy Birthday, loser!
You're breaking my heart, so I'll break your kneecaps
Wish you were covered in boiling oil
Thinking of you dead
Miss you...not!!!
To my Ex...
To the one who makes pond scum look good...
You are always in my mind - get out!!!
You are too bad to be true!
This rose is dead, this violet too, just because I couldn't kill you.
Go into show business so you can break a leg.
Just thinking of you ... and how the flowers on your grave will die too.
This is not a metaphor. This is reality.
And to think, lobotomies were re-legalized just for you.
If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose.
If souls are an ocean, you must be the Dead Sea.
You're not completely useless; you can always serve as a bad example.
Acid rain was created just to dissolve you.
I will not get into a battle of wits with you; I never fight someone who's unarmed.
I am so glad to see your back. Especially after seeing your front.
I'm so sorry you didn't survive that accident.
Did you mother have any children who lived?
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
I wish I'd known you when you were alive.
Are your parents siblings?
You are living proof that man can live without a brain!
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
If you ever become a parent, can I have one of the puppies?
If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.
You're depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
You're so dumb, blondes tell jokes about you.
Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle.
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.
The Holiday For Buying Stuff!